Remembering Savannah

It has been a while since I have written anything on here. Everyone is here doing okay. This time of year is especially hard for us as this was the time of year when Savannah started going downhill really fast. It feels so weird and wrong not to have her here with us. There are times when we still do not believe that she is really gone. For those of you who were unable to come to the funeral, let me say that she looked so peaceful and beautiful. My sister fixed her hair and did so well on it. She was dressed all in purple ( her favorite color) and Hannah Montana clothes along with the frog socks her favorite teacher ever gave her. Preston and Aimee stuck a note in the casket telling her how much they loved her along with a sucker : ) We were saddened to have her gone but we also know she went through a lot especially the last 4 months of her life.

There are times when I think I could have done more although deep down I know that is not true. I often thought to myself that I could have sucked her trache out more or spent more time with her. There are times when I wonder if she really knew how much I loved her especially when I think about the times when she was healthier and I would fuss at her for doing something wrong. I know that is not the case. A thought I had the other day is that children are helpless. They expect you to take care of them and they depend completely on you.

Aimee and Preston talk about Savannah often. They will tell you she is in Heaven and that she is an angel. I am doing okay most of the time. I still tear up every time the main song that I picked for the funeral is played "With Hope" by Steven Curtis Chapman. And there are times when I really let myself think and then I get emotional. We all miss hearing her talk although we never ever thought we would say that when she was here talking our ears off. Aimee is starting to have a little Savannah come out in her. She is in Savannah;s room. All of a sudden she wants to stay up late like Savannah did, talks a lot more like Savannah, just different thing that remind you of Savannah. We swear sometimes that Savannah is whispering in her ear. There are times when you swear she is in the room with you like doors closing and her picture falling down.